Who Am I .....

my existence, albeit pitiable, evokes both compassion and contempt. the life cycle that i know of, is square. and i fall back into this particular set of  circumstance in short intervals.

this conceptual fear instigates emotional upheaval.

repeated exposure to this heightened but artificial feelings eroded any pre-existing self respect and selflessness, making me less susceptible to the intense apprehension of danger. i open myself, without adequate protection, to physical and emotional harm. imploring for an overwhelming damage and destruction. i long to be set physically free, to be released of this socially imposed constraints.

to settle for less, is an abomination.

i am,

the breeze before the monsoon

the woe before the screaming

the accumulation of the decomposed

the comfort before the apocalypse

a perfectly crafted quiet exterior that obscures an otherwise severe inner commotion. discard whatever staid notions of what you know or think you knowand then maybe, you will really know.

it probably is alot easier said than done, but i think the act or attempt is potentially noble.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be?You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

you must find a way to bend the light

and challenge the air

a way to dance in the dust

and honour the skies

a way to relish the clouds

and taste primary-coloured trouts

a way to preserve the mystery

and build bullet-proof walls

a way to listen to the wind

and eat without a sound

you must, above all,

find a way to ingratiate yourself with the follies of yesteryear

and savour it with a higher neutrality

all this you must.